Michael Fassbender promotes The Counselor in London: would you hit it?

I might have moaned a little when I first saw these photos. I can feel your judgment from here, but I don’t even care. MICHAEL FASSBENDER. Destroyer of the Sweet Shop, He of the Monstrous Fassdong, the Irish-German Thunder, has arrived. These are photos of yesterday’s “special screening” (in my pants) of The Counselor. Ridley Scott, Penelope Cruz and Sigourney Weaver were at the screening too but IDGAF. The screening was all about Michael. And a little bit about Javier Bardem. Some general thoughts:

*Michael looked sort of unwashed – I think his hair is kind of greasy? But even when he’s unwashed, he’s still one of the sexiest men in the world.

*I actually like his hair length right now. He’s just one of those guys who doesn’t look right when he’s all cut and polished and pulled together. He’s a Dirty F—k and he looks better when he’s a bit scruffy and his hair is kind of messy.

*Some day, I want Michael to look at me the way he looks at Javier Bardem.

*SHARK TEETH. Present and accounted for.

*I actually like his grey suit.

*God, his blue eyes are hypnotic.

*Michael is such a bro. Seriously! Dudes love him and he loves hanging out with his bros.

*At least he’s not wearing makeup in these photos, at least not obvious makeup. Remember these photos from last year? I’d rather forget them too.

Anyway, I’m actually excited for The Counselor, even though I think Cormac McCarthy is a depressing writer and I’m very worried about Michael’s American accent (he sounds like he’s trying to mimic James Earl Jones). The Counselor will be released in America on October 25th! I hope we get more photos, interviews and more Fassy before then!

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

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